Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Is Here: Our Rundown Of Every Magical Moment

There are only two things that would get me, an almost 27-year-old woman in the ‘burbs, to pull an all-nighter: Either my house is on fire, or I’m reading Harry Potter. (Mind you, only one of those activities is enjoyable.)

It’s been a little under 10 years since I first read Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows into the wee hours of the morning on July 21, 2007, and yet, I can still remember the way my face crumbled when Harry carved, “Here lies Dobby, a free elf,” into a stone by the sea. I remember how bittersweet it felt to finish it, knowing that it was the end of Harry’s magical journey — and in many ways, mine too. We were adults now, Harry and I, and nothing would ever be quite as simple as it was on Platform 9¾.

That is, until now.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the official eighth story in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter saga, has officially been released to the masses. The play, written by Jack Thorne, and based on a story from Rowling and John Tiffany, picks up 19 years after the end of the Second Wizarding War and follows Harry’s young son, Albus Severus Potter, through his Hogwarts years. Although the production is currently running in London at the Palace Theatre, the script novelization was released today, July 31 — in honor of Harry Potter’s 36th birthday.

Needless to say, this is a big moment for Potterheads, and in the spirit of my undying love for this fandom, I’ll be reading Cursed Child in one sitting, updating you throughout the wee hours of the night/morning with each magical, soul-crushing moment. (Spoiler warning, obviously.)

12:01 A.M. — Happy Birthday, Harry

In order to properly capture the sheer magic of this event, I had to attend a midnight release party. For whatever reason, I chose the party that advertised alcoholic butterbeer and “birthdae” cake. This party just so happened to be in Williamsburg. To pass the time, I decide to think up names to other wizarding establishments in Diagon Alley. For example, if there was a club, it would be called Accio. I’d imagine that you’d have to check your wands at the door, kinda like a coat check for wizards. I also discover three things about myself: One, I really dislike alcoholic butterbeer and would much prefer a cup of plain cream soda topped with whipped cream; two, there’s no greater feeling in the world than listening to “Hedwig’s Theme” (and surprisingly, Rihanna’s “Bitch Better Have My Money”) with a bunch of Potterheads; and three, I have never been happier to have a last name that starts with the letter B.

As the clock strikes midnight, they begin to hand out the first copies to people whose last names start with A-J. (Thank Merlin). If I’m going to finish this thing in one sitting, I need to get home — and since I don’t have my Apparation license, Uber is the closest thing to magic we have in the Muggle world. Although, I’m a little bummed I didn’t get to try that birthdae cake.

1:52 A.M. — It Begins

Do you know how hard it is to sit in a car for an hour and not try and read this script? I have to stop myself from peaking because A) it would make me nauseous, and B) I didn’t want to spoil any of the surprises. But now it’s really all happening.

The very first scene is short, but one moment in particular made me tear up. When Harry, Ginny, and their three child — James, Albus, and Lily — reach Platform 9¾, Harry gives Albus the same advice Mrs. Weasley gave him all those years ago: “Best to do it at a run if you’re nervous.”

One page in, and I’m already an emotional wreck.

2:00 A.M. — Weasley Is Our King… Of Telling Dad Jokes

I’ve had serious quarrels with friends over Ron. Some think he’s rather useless, but I believe there’s something remarkably unremarkable about him. He’s unabashedly average, and I love it. So it’s good to see that in his middle-age, he has now perfected the art of telling lame dad jokes. An actual stage note from the second scene is, “It’s a lame trick. Everyone enjoys its lameness.” See? There’s something endearing about that.

2:12 A.M. — Introducing Scorpius Malfoy

Rose Granger-Weasley is kind of insufferable at this point. I get it. She’s supposed to be like Hermione in Sorcerer’s Stone, all ambition and no warmth. (And I think she’s slightly embarrassed of her dad.)

But it’s Scorpius Malfoy, the internet’s favorite addition to the Harry Potter universe, that I’m most intrigued by. “I mean — father-son issues, I have them,” he tells Albus. He’s wonderfully awkward. Not to mention, I love that Albus and Scorpius, like Harry and Ron before them, bonded over wizarding sweets.

2:30 A.M. — The Sorting Hat

Wow that sorting did not go as I expected it to. This is definitely the first big shock of the play, and I don’t want to spoil it completely, but it’s definitely the first in a series of moments that show us how different Albus is from his father.

2:43 A.M. — This Is 40

So far the most exciting thing we learn about Harry is that he’s “off sugar.” Technically, he says, “We’re off sugar,” so I’m going to assume he’s referring to his family. Sure, Harry was never the boy who could each six Chocolate Frogs in one sitting (that was Ron), but he definitely loved his sweets. This is an odd development. Is this what adulthood is like?!

Article source: http://www.mtv.com/news/2912618/harry-potter-and-the-cursed-child-live-blog/

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